Once again it’s a Friday and Madison Woods has given us this wonderful photo prompt to work from:
Her story is here: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/dynamite/drip-100-words/
And here is my effort this week…
Death Will Be Our Saviour
Drip…drip…drip…
The crystal clear droplets soon turned to rubies as my blood mingled with the waters.
I am dying.
I go to my brothers and sisters in the Watchtowers, knowing that the world will be left a better place. My blood will wash away the corruption that has spread throughout the roots of this wretched planet.
The riders will sniff out my life-essence as it cleanses nature, and they will cleanse the rest of the world that I am now dissolving from, floating away on the ether.
Drip…
Drip…
Drip…
The riders are coming.
*
*
*
As I was reading some of today’s stories, I got a second idea based on the prompt and couldn’t leave it alone. Hopefully y’all won’t mind reading a second story today!
Ebb and Flow
The pool swelled with life, waves tumbling over one another and lapping gently at the edge of the great marble bath.
Asrin, the Spirit of Life watched over the waters, counting the droplets that fell from the Soul Tree. “A productive cycle, this lot,” she remarked with a knowing smile.
Her sister, Nirsa, the Spirit of Death and her literal opposite, stepped up beside her. “Shit,” she cursed, “looks like I’m gonna be busy this generation.”
Nirsa shed her silk shift before securing the dagger’s blade between her teeth and diving into the pool.
garybaileywriting 
59 comments
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April 20, 2012 at 10:12 am
unspywriter
Nice and eerie and a lot of story packed in a small space. I might have done the first set of “drips” vertical, too; the latter ones are a good visual. Nice work.
Here’s mine: http://unspywriter.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneers/
April 20, 2012 at 7:50 pm
Gary
Thank you! I wanted the first drips to be almost quick, symbolising the life force still beating in the MC’s heart, whereas the second drips are slower and more final – his final breaths, or final drops of his blood draining away.
April 20, 2012 at 10:52 am
dmmacilroy
Dear Gary,
Six in a row the stories i’ve read have been magical. Something in the water? Yours joins the others to form a stream of imagination that is carrying me to new worlds.
Aloha,
Doug
April 20, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Gary
Thank you Doug, that’s very kind of you to say.
April 20, 2012 at 12:00 pm
TheOthers1
I loved this line >
” My blood will wash away the corruption that has spread throughout the roots of this wretched planet.” Just something about it in connection with your title that just thought was perfect.
My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/water-the-earth/
April 20, 2012 at 7:59 pm
Gary
Thanks. It ended up being a bit of a dark one (the second story ended up balancing it out somewhat, should you return to read that)!
April 20, 2012 at 9:54 pm
TheOthers1
I liked the second story as well. Something about her diving in the water with the knife in her mouth screamed Amazon Princess to me. Nice work.
April 20, 2012 at 1:00 pm
littlewonder2
That was really cool. I mean, sure, the dripping is predictable, but the story was actually pretty cool and I liked the fifth paragraph a lot.
April 20, 2012 at 8:00 pm
Gary
I was hoping the predictability of the drips would be offset by the mingling of blood and the eventual end of all things. Thanks for reading!
April 20, 2012 at 1:20 pm
kbnelson
I also really liked the visual effect of the words – like a concrete poem!
http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-flash-fiction-my-cup-runneth-over/
April 20, 2012 at 8:05 pm
Gary
Never thought of myself as a poet before, so thank you! 🙂
April 20, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Jeffrey Hollar
Very powerful little tale. I concur with others that it allows one to hear and feel the droplets falling. Nice!
April 21, 2012 at 7:50 am
Gary
Thank you! I did aim for the droplets to be a fairly major factor.
April 20, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Carrie
very fantastical, like the wraiths in Lord of the Rings, except perhaps they are doing something more positive. Nice imagery of the water going red and becoming rubies.
You can read my piece here: http://viewsfromnature.com/2012/04/19/transformation-2/
April 21, 2012 at 7:52 am
Gary
I’m glad you liked the rubies part, as it was the imagery that actually started me writing this week! 🙂
April 20, 2012 at 3:38 pm
rich
this is written with a stately, formal voice. consider changing this: that I am now dissolving from. to this: from which i now dissolve.
April 21, 2012 at 7:54 am
Gary
It wasn’t intended to be formal, more a realisation and coming to terms with something he felt was necessary – the manner of his speech was reflecting the old world, that more enunciated way of speaking.
April 20, 2012 at 3:43 pm
Sandra
The tone in this is very compelling, dignified, almost statesmanlike. Creates a chilling yet potentially optimistic atmosphere.
Mine: http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/spellbound-friday-fictioneers-april-2012/
April 21, 2012 at 8:06 am
Gary
I’m glad you noted the optimism, even if the more chilling things have to come first! Thank you for reading – if you fancy a little extra reading, I’ve added a second story now too. 🙂
April 21, 2012 at 8:13 am
Sandra
This is quite an intriguing theme; I’d definitely carry on taking it forward if I were you, there’s something elusive yet compelling about the theme.
April 21, 2012 at 8:22 am
Gary
Thanks for returning, Sandra! I’m glad you liked it, and flattered that you think it could be something to take further. Thank you.
April 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm
elmowrites
My feeling from this was something like the Christian story, but with a hint of elements I didn’t recognise, like the riders and the watchtowers. I thought you captured the mood well, and I loved your title! I’m extra in awe of people who create good titles – one of my weak spots.
A few bits of word agreement confused me, for example: The crystal clear droplets turned to rubies as my blood mingled with its waters – it’s is singular but the droplets are plural. You might want to read through for this.
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fiction-maturity/
April 21, 2012 at 8:15 am
Gary
Thank you, I’ve changed “its” to “the” now, to hopefully correct that problem. 🙂
I’ll be honest, the theme wasn’t based on anything in particular, just the last of the “old ones” dying out and bringing about a massive change in the world in order for new life to thrive.
The Watchtowers were purely a made up name at the time – the original name I used was the Kingdom but that sounded too much like Heaven – and the riders are definitely in reference to the Four Horsemen, though perhaps not as most would think. My reference comes from my love of Darksiders, a videogame based around the tale of the horseman War.
As for the title, I must also confess that it’s another nod to Darksiders. In the trailer for the new game out this year (in which the central character is the horseman Death), the tagline is “Death will be our saviour” but I thought it fit my first story perfectly!
April 20, 2012 at 3:59 pm
susielindau
I like the second one too! It was so lively and pulled me right in to the drama! Nice!
April 21, 2012 at 8:16 am
Gary
Thanks Susie, I was just amazed that I ended up with two as I almost didn’t enter at all this week!
April 21, 2012 at 1:05 pm
susielindau
Those creative juices were flowing!
April 20, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Amanda Gray Woodward
I really like both they are similar and so very different
Pov tells me the first is more personal. Maybe something that ties in with something you are working on or is wanting to be told? There is a lot of raw emotion there.
The second is inspired but not quiet so close to the heart as it’s earlier brother. That doesn’t detract from the beauty of the second.
I just thought it was interesting to see the difference outside influences make on one persons writing.
mine is here:
April 21, 2012 at 8:20 am
Gary
I hadn’t thought about it being so personal. I hadn’t intended it but possibly it’s one that wants to be told, as you say! I sat down to write and that’s what came out – the only thing I planned was the “rubies” imagery.
I think the second story is closer to my dark sense of humour, and may end up being part of something larger. Though perhaps both have room for inclusion in that…
April 20, 2012 at 4:44 pm
Andy Flood
Well, two superb stories on a theme of life and death. The first felt apocalyptic, with shades of the four horsemen at the end. The narrator felt like maybe a nature or death god, in his final moments, perhaps as his believers left him? Very effective tone and a resonant tale.
The second one I liked even more, the idea of life and death being anthropomorphised as sisters is very cool. I love the imagery of death diving in to begin her work for that cycle/generation. Very thought provoking and full of excellent images.
Both feel like they could be a part of the Silentil mythos/pantheon. Maybe as forces at play on the periphery of Niiko’s story? Well done, that man 🙂
Thanks for your continuing support over at:
/end shameless plug 😉
April 21, 2012 at 8:25 am
Gary
Thanks Andy, as ever you’re a great supporter and you give me ideas to use in other areas! 🙂
April 20, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Stacy Bennett-Hoyt
Love the aura your writing gives. I gotta read these a few more times and let them soak in. Thanks for the great read. 😀
April 21, 2012 at 8:26 am
Gary
And thank you for reading them. 🙂
I’m very grateful for such kind words.
April 20, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Lora Mitchell
Eerie…depressing…intelligent…creative…Biblical…powerful. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
April 21, 2012 at 8:33 am
Gary
Thank you. That’s certainly a lot of ways to describe the stories! 🙂
April 20, 2012 at 6:08 pm
LupusAnthropos
Both are nice. As elmowrites mentioned, the Christian (or Christ-like) elements are particularly interesting in the first. As for the riders, my first thought was of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which would still maintain the biblical connection.
Here’s my story: http://wp.me/p24aJS-3Z
April 21, 2012 at 8:39 am
Gary
The riders were indeed a reference to the Horsemen, though nothing biblical was intended. Instead the reference came from the videogame Darksiders – though based on the Horsemen, it’s darker and more fantastical! 🙂
April 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm
JKBradley
Are these written with other, larger storylines already shared and previously developed characters?
April 21, 2012 at 8:43 am
Gary
These stories aren’t yet part of anything I’ve already done, though they may become a part.
The Niiko story that Andy mentioned above is something I’ve shared a snippet of before, both in the Fictioneers stories and an excerpt from the novel I’m writing, but they aren’t connected at this point.
I hope you enjoyed what you read here. 🙂
April 20, 2012 at 8:06 pm
tollykit
Both are nice stories. For some reason the first one caught my imagination more. Wondering if you are planning some larger with these.
Here’s mine
http://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/flash-fiction-story-2-for-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction
April 21, 2012 at 8:45 am
Gary
They may well be integrated into the novel I’m writing, though they weren’t intended that way when I wrote them.
Thank you for reading!
April 20, 2012 at 8:52 pm
Susan Wenzel (@SusanWenzel)
Both pieces are very poetic and contain much meaning…I really enjoyed the second one most. The two sisters – one born to create and one to destroy.
~Susan
April 21, 2012 at 8:48 am
Gary
It’s strange that the second story is getting higher praise, with it actually being written “on the fly” during the middle of the Fictioneers process yesterday! I’m very happy that it’s finding an audience though.
Thank you for reading. Hope you return to the writing yourself next week! 🙂
April 20, 2012 at 9:16 pm
Kris Kennedy
Wow, first one, very intense and dark…I loved the second one’s emphases…pretty cool take on the picture…thanks for stopping by and reading mine…
April 21, 2012 at 8:49 am
Gary
And thank you for reading mine, too!
April 21, 2012 at 2:53 am
Robert Wyckoff (@TheDrabbler)
The first one: awesome, epic, fantastic, intense. With nothing else to draw on, it made me imagine a world where the “riders” are like the horsemen of the apocalypse, come to destroy the world. And the POV character is the first victim…
The second one: also quite cool. Kind of “Greek Gods”-esque. I smiled at Nirsa and her reaction to the plentiful droplets.
Here’s mine at:
http://the-drabbler.com/splat/
April 21, 2012 at 8:56 am
Gary
The first one was definitely hinting at the Horsemen, though the POV is actually the last “old one” who is dying in order to help save the planet – only cleansing it with do the trick, unfortunately!
The second one was definitely inspired by that whole “Greek Gods around the World Table” idea.
Thank you for the kind comments.
April 21, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Brandon Scott
I enjoyed both stories, but the first grabbed my attention moreso. The idea of a worldwide cleansing is more than a bit fascinating.
April 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Gary
There’s definitely something about the end of the world as we know it. There’s a morbid curiosity involved!
Thank you for reading.
April 21, 2012 at 3:20 pm
erinleary
I also enjoyed both stories, but found the first most compelling. It made me think of the character as the savior and wondered what he had done to be cast in that light.
Mine, late as it is, is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/21/flash-friday-fiction-8/
April 21, 2012 at 7:30 pm
Gary
I don’t even know, myself! One of those strange instances where the backstory is only in a few pieces in my head.
Thank you for reading! 🙂
April 22, 2012 at 2:44 am
Madison Woods
Loved both of your stories! In the first, will he disperse to all four watchtowers, perhaps inhabit the corners of the world? Something about that story reminded me of an old Yes song, or it might have been after the Yes name owner left the group… now I’ll have to remember the song before it drives me insane.
April 23, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Gary
Haha, don’t you just hate it when that happens?
Thanks for the comments – the Watchtowers are meant to be a vision of the old ones’ paradise, like Valhalla for example. I hope that makes sense! 🙂
April 23, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Madison Woods
Ah, yes it makes sense that way. It made sense the other way, too, actually. I was thinking of the Watchtowers as in the the gateways of the four directions.
April 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm
tedstrutz
Now, who could be unhappy with two stories. crystal clear droplets soon turned to rubies…Cool!
April 23, 2012 at 7:09 pm
Gary
Thank you! That was the idea on which the whole story started.
April 23, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Michael Fishman
Hi Gary, both stories are well written but I liked the first one better. Everything from the title on down worked for me. I was bothered a little bit that I didn’t know who the narrator was but on a second reading I came to my own conclusion and that filled the story out for me.
April 23, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Gary
It’s great that you came to your own conclusions, as I know I didn’t make it too clear who it was. The title was a bit of a cheat (borrowed from a videogame trailer) but it fit really well! 🙂
Thank you for reading.
April 24, 2012 at 11:32 am
janpoulton
Hi. I finally got round to posting my comments. I thought both stories were cleverly linked around the theme of life and death. I really enjoyed reading both stories but the second one just had the edge for me. In ‘Ebb and Flow’ I thought the reference to water was effectively linked in to the story emphasising the essence of life. I loved the image of the Soul Tree creating life. Then the battle between good and evil/life and death being encapsulated in two sisters added a very powerful twist.
In your first story the comparison of crystal droplets of water and rubies as droplets of blood creates a very powerful image. At the end the use of the word ‘drip’ repeatedly, not only builds tension but really forms a picture of life ebbing away. Very clever use of such a simple word. Well done 🙂
April 26, 2012 at 7:38 pm
Gary
Thanks Jan, it’s great to see you finally getting into the ‘Fictioneers scene!
I’m really surprised by the number of people preferring Ebb and Flow, as it was a spur of the moment idea. So glad you enjoyed it though.
And you managed to pick up perfectly on what I was going for in Death Will Be Our Saviour! 🙂